Left Holding the Bag

Common Behavioral Characteristics of Children of Alcoholics:

• Children of alcoholics guess at what normal is...
• they feel they are different from other people
• Children of alcoholics often find telling the truth uncomfortable
• Children of alcoholics tend to be extremely loyal
• Children of alcoholics have trouble handling criticism
• They tend to be either super responsible or irresponsible
• Children of alcoholics have a hard time ending conversations
• Children of alcoholics have trouble saying goodbye
• Children of alcoholics find it difficult to “have fun”
• Children of alcoholics take themselves very seriously
• Children of alcoholics are uncomfortable in intimate situations
• Children of alcoholics react rather than take control
• Children of alcoholics are uneasy around authority figures
• They're chameleons, finding it easiest to be what others want
• Children of alcoholics tend to lock themselves into a course of action without giving serious consideration to possible consequences

Comments

[amy eden]

Hi there. Im glad your journey involved a pit stop here. Thanks for writing! It sounds like, indeed, you have traveled a really long, long distance. It is such a long road, healing and growing up, isnt it? Taking rests, appreciating the progress is so, so important. Were so tough and unloving toward ourselves (by training) so the progress resting up aspect of the journey we often put aside (er, and we also dont know how to relax and have fun) -- its essential that we add appreciation of ourselves to the process, to see how hard were working to be whole and true and comfortable in our own skin. Its so hard to love ourselves, to trust ourselves, but yet we are our only true, reliable home to ourselves.
Hooray for your journey -- Im glad you saw yourself in whats here, and I really appreciate the note. -ae

[Missives From Suburbia]

Just stumbled upon your site.... I spent many, many years in therapy, and while I know of many of the things you write, it's one of the first times I've seen some of it codified. I feel really good reading it. I have overcome so much of this stuff--managed to make myself functional, despite my dysfunctional beginnings. Thanks. This list is like reading about me--about who I am at my core and about the characteristics and coping mechanisms I have had to relearn in order to overcome my core. It makes me feel like I've traveled a great distance, and despite the long road ahead, I will rest, pleased with my progress.